China
 
 
 
Bizarre
 
Midget Theme Park-7
Midget Theme Park-7
Midget Theme Park-7

Three Words: Midget. Theme. Park.

For a long time I suspected that something was wrong with Mr. Chen, but only now did I grasp the majestic breadth of his insanity; I could now color in an entire childhood of licking windows, kicking squirrels, and chasing lase...
 
China
 
Chinglish Side Photos-1
Chinglish Side Photos-1
Chinglish Side Photos-1

Chinglish 101: Five Secrets to Understanding Demon Bird Moth-Balls

If Americans love one thing more than looking at silly things on the Internet, it’s getting really, super offended at silly things on the Internet. So before I start this week’s Photo Travelogue, I’d like to preface by saying t...
 
Adventure
 
banner
banner
banner

The Mystery of the Immaculate Herpes

It was a miracle—a horrible miracle—that turned my pleasant morning tinkle into a heart pounding free-fall into nightmareland. HERPES!!! I diagnosed (even though I’d never actually seen herpes before). For several minutes I sto...

 
China
 
Sichuan Lava Cuisine-2
Sichuan Lava Cuisine-2
Sichuan Lava Cuisine-2

Sichuan Lava Cuisine & The Top 4 Most Common Myths About Spicy Food

The purpose of my self-destructive side trip to Chongqing was to eat at 夜富火锅, home of the spiciest hotpot on the planet (chunks of meat doused in a scalding broth of Sichuan chili and flower peppers, so spicy it’ll have y...
 
Bizarre
 
SW China-23
SW China-23
SW China-23

Going South on China: A Panda Hunt

Before I try to rationalize for you my ill-conceived quest into the bamboo forests of Sichuan, I’d like to clarify that I harbor no secret vendetta against the Giant Panda. I just simply couldn’t understand why the world fetish...
 
China
 
Radiation Run-1
Radiation Run-1
Radiation Run-1

A Dream Deferred: The End of Backpackology?

When I finally penned my response to Men’s Journal (at three in the morning) (over one week late), I was sitting amongst cockroaches on my hotel room floor, stripped down to my underwear, high as a rocket ship on mysterious Chi...

 
China
 
Silk Road-11
Silk Road-11
Silk Road-11

Silk Road Ramblings: Lost Empires, Gobi Fugitives, and The Secret Meth Habit of Marco Polo

I have conquered the Silk Road. I’ve hid from Chinese guards in the starlit dunes of the Gobi. I’ve visited mud-thatched villages and seen old Uighur men as hairy as camels shriek in wonder and delight as they passed around a p...
 
China
 
Uighur Food-1
Uighur Food-1
Uighur Food-1

Wednesday Wanderings: Uighur Food of the Kashgar Night Market

If you’ve never woken up in the middle of the night to the sound of your own screams after suffering traumatic, reoccurring dreams the revolve around mutton fat, then you haven’t spent too much time in the Xinjiang province of ...
 
China
 
Kashgar Livestock-1
Kashgar Livestock-1
Kashgar Livestock-1

Wednesday Wanderings: The Former Nation of East Turkestan

It’s hard to stabilize a video camera when you’re being stampeded by a crowd of bedraggled Uighur shepherds, when you’re tripping over barnyard critters and women with gold-plated teeth and painted unibrows are screaming foreig...

 
Adventures in Backpackistan!
 
Jiankou Wall-1 copy
Jiankou Wall-1 copy
Jiankou Wall-1 copy

Guilty as Charged

If Purgatory exists, I imagine it looks something like the Concord District Courthouse’s waiting room: a torturous realm of eternal, soul-sucking silence; overly air-conditioned, reeking of floor cleaner, lined with wooden benc...